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A failing marriage is a real problem. Either you stop loving each other, or they start loving someone else, or maybe even you get attracted to a third person. There comes a time when you may feel like you can’t handle it all and it’s becoming a failing marriage, and simply falling apart. No relationship is without its troubles. Relationships, in general, offer wonderful benefits for well-being, life satisfaction, and stress management, but none are without their challenges. These issues can put a strain on a couple, but working through them can either strengthen their bond or push them apart, depending on how they handle the challenges they face. In marriage, it is of utmost importance that the couple seeks ways to reinvigorate their relationship. the first step in doing this is identifying the problem of recognizing that your marriage is failing.
SIGNS OF A FAILING MARRIAGE
Arguing Repeatedly over the Same Subject:
If your arguments become routine with all the same issues and no resolution, then your marriage is either standing still or dying fast. You’re in a cycle of conflict instead of problem-solving.
You may need the assistance of a professional counselor to help find solutions to problems that don’t seem to go away. Running in circles or creating a destructive cycle is a definite way to kill a marriage.
Lack of Intimacy:
A considerable decline in physical affection is one of the most recognized symptoms of a failing relationship. Intimacy is the act that allows us to bond as husband and wife.
If your partner is showing no or very little interest in intimacy with you then they are showing little concern for their emotional bond with you as a husband/wife. Or, there is a problem in the marriage that is keeping them from being able to feel intimately bonded to you.
You don’t share the details of your life either because you assume your spouse won’t be interested, or you can’t be bothered to have the conversation. You might have had coffee with your best friend in town, but you don’t mention it to your partner. There’s no particular reason, only that you don’t see any point in telling him. This shows that you are seeing yourself as a singleton, rather than as one-half of a couple. When you become the last to know important information there has been a huge communication breakdown. Or a breakdown in the emotional bond that promotes sharing in marriage.
Spending Less and Less Time Together:
You have more outside-the-marriage activities than inside. You spend time with friends, at your book club, at the gym, talking with the neighbor, or visiting your parents. Leaving very little one-to-one time with your spouse. The way to know if you are nurturing your interests and individuality is to examine your motives.
Silence in itself is not a sign of a failing marriage, it becomes a problem when you can sit quietly in a room with your partner for hours and have absolutely nothing to talk about. You wake up and mutter a ‘good morning’ and go to bed with a disinterested ‘good night’ and have no meaningful conversation in between.
HOW TO FIX A FAILING MARRIAGE
Marriages can be fixed and restored over time if the couple is willing to work together to save their marriage. The following are ways through which couples can slowly rebuild their marriages:
Remember what Made you Fall in Love:
Go down memory lane and think about how you first met them, what made you fall in love with them and maybe write it down. Consider what you adored about this person and what made you want to be with them. Though you may have lost sight of this, thinking back to when times were good and you had just fallen in love can help to lift your spirits and heal your broken marriage.
Start to listen to each other again:
Have conversations again and start to communicate with one another. Listen to what your spouse is telling you, and then ask the same from them. Make it a point to listen to one another again and it may very well be what helps you to remember what made your marriage a happy one.
Rediscover Sexual Intimacy in Your Marriage:
One of the most common pieces of advice for marriages experiencing turbulence is to rekindle physical intimacy.
While it doesn’t dig deep into the psychological and emotional conflicts in your marriage, you don’t need to go for counseling. Know that being intimate with each other can help improve bonding and reduce tension. Maintaining a physical relationship promotes intimacy between two people.
Even simple touches like holding hands pats on the shoulder, and hugging can stimulate oxytocin production, which is the hormone associated with socialization and bonding. The more you touch your spouse, the more your brain associates him or her with good feelings associated with Dopamine and Serotonin.
SIGNS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS BEYOND REPAIR
When your fights make you fear for your physical or mental safety, it can be one of the signs your marriage is beyond repair. Abusive tendencies may stem from a lack of respect, which signals that the very foundation of your relationship is in shambles.
Severe lack of Empathy:
A lack of empathy in your relationship can take many forms. Perhaps all you face is criticism, or you never feel like your feelings are validated. Disrespect, lack of appreciation, lack of accountability are all symptoms that point toward the larger problem. When a relationship is beyond repair, you’ll often see all the signs of a lack of empathy. They may not be immediately visible, but when they do spring up, you’ll see just how damaging they can be.
A relationship becomes Toxic:
If you’re convinced that your relationship is affecting your physical or mental health for the worse, there’s no need to look for more signs your relationship is beyond repair.
A toxic relationship can end up causing lasting harm to your mental or even physical well-being, and getting out of one as soon as you spot the signs can save you from years of trauma.
The psychological facts about cheating tell us that affairs can often be sought out when partners are not happy in their relationship. If yours has reached a stage where the temptation to cheat seems more convincing by the day, perhaps an evaluation is necessary.
Instead of cheating, you should end things with your current partner before trying to find another. If you don’t, you might just be left looking for answers to questions like how to fix a relationship you ruined.