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We all lied to someone in our lives and we still do this from time to time. It’s a natural human behavior and these are “white” lies that make our life a little bit more simple and help us protect other people’s feelings.
But sometimes, lies can get way more serious and can lead to problems.
If you don’t want to get deceived and easily define whether people lie or not, keep reading. In this article, we will cover a few aspects that include:
- what the main signs when people lie are
- tips on how to accurately reveal them
- how to build trust within relationships
Main Signs That Someone Is Lying
It’s worth noting that for most people, it’s challenging to detect someone who lies. Nevertheless, this is a skill that you certainly can hone, and we will help you do this.
Down below, you will find both verbal and physical signs of lying that will help you spot an untruthful person around you with ease.
Verbal Signs of Lying
Check out the most common verbal indicators of a liar. These are the basic red flags you should pay close attention to though you have to learn to be more detail-oriented as spotting a deceiving person is not as easy as it sounds.
Here they are:
- repeating words and phrases;
- being vague while telling a story and omitting important details;
- providing way too much information regarding a story;
- repeating your questions before directly giving an answer.
Physical Signs of Lying
The body language of a liar is much more eloquent than their words. So it’s even better to focus on what they say and how they behave at a certain moment.
Our bodies speak for ourselves and you will see that the list of physical indicators is more extensive. Your main job is to be attentive and read and interpret a person’s body language in the right way.
So among the most expressive physical signs of lying it’s possible to name the following:
- pointing out regularly;
- changing pitch and volume of voice;
- covering sensitive body parts like mouth, neck, eyes, etc.;
- sweating or dryness;
- excessive itching and fidgeting;
- shuffling their feet;
- changing breath;
- experiencing difficulties speaking;
- staring without blinking;
- lack of eye contact;
- tense smile;
- playing with hair.
Tips on Detecting When Someone Is Lying
Now, once you already got familiar with the main signs of lying, you can move on to more practical tips that will help you effectively and accurately detect a liar in your life.
1. Start with Neutral Questions
If you decide to uncover a liar, you should start slowly. Begin with some neutral and general questions before getting more details regarding the story. You will be able to observe the behavior baseline.
It can be anything you want starting from:
- questions about the weather
- plans for the evening
- or asking what they ate in the morning.
2. Ask Follow-Up Questions
Once you are done with neutral questions, you can move on to follow-up questions regarding a story itself. Your job is to come up with as many detail-oriented questions as possible.
The more you ask, the more it will be difficult for a person to find the right answers in case they are telling the truth. If a person is completely honest, they will be able to dive into plenty of details and do this with ease and no stress signs.
3. Surprise Them With an Unexpected Question
Another option that will catch a liar by surprise and will help you reveal the truth is asking an unexpected question. A dishonest person will do all their best to anticipate your questions and give a plausible version of a made-up story.
However, asking something unpredictable will make them stumble. And, most likely, they will get nervous and start mumbling.
4. Ask to Tell the Story in Reverse
If a person is telling the truth then telling a story backward won’t be a problem. Moreover, if a person is honest they will even add more small details to the story while recalling it.
On the contrary, a person who is telling lies will get lost in the made-up story, they might get confused and mix up the facts and change the chronological order of events.
As the cognitive load increases, a liar will lose their accuracy, behavioral clues will get more apparent, and you will be able to easily uncover they are telling lies.
5. Observe Body Language and Micro-Face Expressions
You have done everything possible to throw your interlocutor out of their stride and now you can look for signs of stress and change in their behavior.
Keep in mind the list we provided you right above and try to notice even the slightest detail and change in the way they behave.
Gestures, facial expressions, mimics, sweating, shrugging, hands hidden — all this can indicate that you are talking to a liar. An untruthful person would want to look smaller and less noticeable on the subconscious level.
6. Listen to Their Tone of Voice and Mind the Sentence Structure
The way they speak also matters a lot. So you have to notice changes in their tone of voice, cadence, volume, speed. They can start speaking faster or slower while increasing or decreasing their pitch of voice.
Sentence structure is also something that is worth your attention. While lying, people tend to speak with more complex sentences as the brain works harder to keep up with their deception.
7. Rely on Your Intuition
Sometimes, our unconscious mind is more accurate and subtle than the conscious one. Therefore, your immediate reaction and feeling that you are being deceived can be pretty much true.
Enhance it with your analysis based on our tips and you will be able to spot a liar in your life. Rely on your instincts and don’t be afraid to accept that someone close to you might be lying.
The sooner you recognize a dishonest person, the sooner you will get full control of your life and social circle.
How Does Online Therapy Can Help You When Someone Lies to You?
Of course, online therapy cannot help you detect a liar, though a therapist can give you some additional hints. However, if you are interested in detecting when someone lies to you and building trustful relationships, therapy can still be beneficial.
Therapy Benefit #1
First of all, with the help of a professional with relevant experience, you can discuss your relationships with a person you suspect is lying. Maybe your relationships turned sour and you experienced distress because of your crisis. Or, you simply feel vulnerable and are afraid that you are being played around.
None of these is a good thing to feel. So you will be able to just get it off your chest and understand the possible solution to your relationship issues.
Therapy Benefit #2
Second, you will be able to work on building your confidence and self-esteem so you have the inner power to limit communication with people who are dishonest with you.
You will learn how to set and protect your personal boundaries. It will come in handy in different situations and improve your life quality and overall well-being.
How does it work?
If you still think that therapy is too expensive and you don’t have enough time for it, know that online sessions are much more affordable than face-to-face meetings.
Usually, the platforms available online offer a wide range of pricing plans suitable for different needs and budgets. It’s also worth noting that you can connect with a therapist anywhere at any time while having a session from your favorite device.
You can stay at home, do this on the road, or in the office. This is the most convenient way to improve your mental health.
Therefore, it’s a time- and money-saving option on your way to becoming a better version of yourself and improving your social environment.
Lies can perplex our lives and take a negative toll on relationships with people. If you respect yourself and your boundaries and no longer want to be deceived by others, keep these signs of lying in mind.
Online therapy will help you significantly boost your self-esteem, confidence, and self-worth so you can value yourself more. Once you learn to do this, you would want to let untruthful people go and channel your energy and time on those who are completely honest and open to you.